Fearful Symmetry

How does anyone take this shit seriously?

2010-03-14T03:52:00.005-10:00

During his tenure as archbishop of Munich, Pope Benedict XVI participated in the decision to move a priest accused of sexual molestation to his diocese to undergo "therapy." The priest was then reassigned and committed more abuse. Benedict (at the time Archbishop Joseph Rat singer) was involved in the 1980 decision to move the priest from a church in Essen, Germany, to Ratsi's rectory in the Munich region. The kid toucher was subsequently allowed to continue pastoral duties, during which he committed new abuses for which he was convicted by a court in 1986. All of this is in keeping with decades of similar conduct by the US church officials. Most recently the gay prostitution ring in the Vatican itself continues to show that religion is rotten to the core. Even the Pope’s brother, Father Georg Ratzinger, has admitted he hit (on) choir boys. Italian priest Father Amorth said in response to the most recent scandal to hit the Vatican: ”The Devil lives in the Vatican. Naturally it’s difficult to find proof, but the true consequences are visible. We have cardinals who don’t believe in Christ, bishops connected with demons. Then we have these stories of paedophilia. You can see the rot when we speak of Satan’s smoke in the holy rooms of the Vatican.” Unintentional truth can be the best kind.

Sadly, he follows this bit of truth with holy roller nitwittery so as to undermine it: Amorth claims to have participated in 70,000 exorcisms.
Isn’t the transparent lie enough to show this is a bullshit? Dealing with 70,000 “Demonic possessions” means 4 a day, every day for 50 years. Seems like that much demonic possession would have made a few ripples outside the amorphous church world, but no.

God Wants me to Travel First Class

2010-01-11T06:07:00.003-10:00

Michael S. Steele, Republican National Committee chairman, is using his title to market himself for paid appearances nationwide, personally profiting from speeches with fees of up to $20,000, an unusual practice criticized by a string of past party chairmen. Mr. Steele, who vigorously campaigned for the $223,500-a-year RNC post, is working with at least four agencies to book speaking engagements. He charges between $8,000 and $20,000 for an address, plus first-class travel and lodging expenses.

"Holy mackerel, I never heard of a chairman of either party ever taking money for speeches," said Frank J. Fahrenkopf Jr., RNC chairman under President Reagan. "[B]eing national chairman was and is a full-time job," Mr. Fahrenkopf said. Former Republican National Committee Chairman Jim Nicholson, who served in that position from 1997 to 2000 and was President George W. Bush's Veterans Affairs secretary from 2005 to 2007, said the job "demands so much of your time that you can work 24/7 and not get everything done, so taking time out to speak for the benefit of one's own bank account is not appropriate."

It's OK though, because Jeezus wants him to do it.

It's a terrible thing to live in fear

2009-09-19T05:59:00.000-10:00

Our chief weapon is fear...fear and resentment.
Fear and resentment.... Our two weapons are fear and resentment...and anger.
Our *three* weapons are fear, resentment and anger...and an almost fanatical devotion to self-deception....
Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, resentment.... I'll come in again.

“I just hope the Congress, the Senate and the president recognize that people are afraid of what's going on.” All fear all the time is what the Republicans want. Everyone should be afraid of everything except whatever bullshit policy the republicans are cramming down our throats at any given time.

The middle aged white person temper tantrum show of 2009 must be read in context: The Republicans ~~have governed~~ won elections for so long using these ~~three~~ four weapons that they cannot understand how the dems and the voters will not respond to them now.

Of course the Congress still does, because they are led by DINO cowards Reid and Pelosi and crippled by blue dog "democrats" that vote republican.

The WH seems to capable of standing up to them in some ways. I wonder what's different about this president that he could confront a large powerful organization designed to generate and multiply fear and resentment.

Moving quickly, Brooks slammed his metal-topped cane onto the unsuspecting Sumner's head.

2009-09-11T11:45:00.003-10:00

Republican Congressman Joe Wilson from South Carolina heckled the president of the United States from the floor of the House during a joint session of Congress this evening, screaming "You lie!" while the President addressed Republican spin regarding medical benefits to immigrants.

This is not the first time that representatives from South Carolina have disgraced Congress.

In May, 1856, Senator Charles Sumner of Masschusetts gave a speech describing slavery as a harlot, comparing South Carolina Senator Andrew Butler with Don Quixote for embracing it, and mocking Butler for a physical handicap. Three days later, Congressman Brooks advanced on Sumner while he worked at his desk in the Senate chamber and beat him into unconsciousness. Brooks continued to strike Sumner's prone and unconscious form until he snapped his cane in two. Fellow South Carolinian Congressman Laurence Keitt brandished a pistol to repel anyone attempting to stop the attack.

The next part of the story reflects the true honor and chivalry of the gentleman from South Carolina. Massachusetts congressman Anson Burlingame was a vocal critic of the attack. When Burlingame denounced Brooks as a coward on the floor of the House, Brooks challenged him to a duel, and Burlingame accepted the challenge. Burlingame, as the challenged party, specified rifles as the weapons, and to get around anti-dueling laws he named the Canadian side of Niagara Falls as the site. Brooks backed out of the challenge, claiming that he would be murdered on his way north. Burlingame's reputation as an avid deer hunter and a deadly shot with a rifle could also have been a factor.

He was once a professor, you know

2009-09-07T15:15:00.006-10:00

Right wing douchebags are right to tremble with uncontrollable pants-wetting fear about indoctrination by Obama in his upcoming speech to schoolchildren. He is sincere, intelligent, articulate, charming, and persuasive - all the things the Boy King of Crawford was not.

President Obama's advice and ideas are likely to be considered (and well received) by anyone with an open mind.

George Herbert Walker Bush, St. Ronnie, and duhbew all made appearances with schoolkids. Hey Republicans, how'd that work out for you?

This Little Thing Of Ours

2009-06-29T02:33:00.003-10:00

This article was published in 2003. On reading it, the question immediately jumped to my mind: Where are the assholes profiled in the story now? What damage have they done to our country since their little cult of fundamentalist lunacy was disclosed?

Well, La Casa Nostra is still going strong, as Ensign and Sanford are made men in that Family.

The circumstances about Republican Senator John Ensign's confession of breach of trust, adultery and deceit are surprisingly similar to those of current republican hypocrite Mark Sanford. During the Lewinsky scandal a decade ago, Ensign voted to remove the president from office, and Sanford also voted to remove Clinton from office. When other prominent politicians got caught in sex scandals, Ensign went on the attack, and Sanford also went on the attack. Ensign is an evangelical Christian who has promoted the "sanctity" of marriage; Sanford is an evangelical Christian who has promoted the "sanctity" of marriage. Additional hypocrite republicans who had no problem legislating private behavior until they were caught include Larry "Wide Stance" Craig, Mark "Turn the Page" Foley and "Diaper Dave" Vitter.

These men are in the party that pushed to amend the Consitution to protect "the sanctity of marriage" but who are so afraid of the constitutional frailty of legislating religious claptrap that they also moved to strip the courts of jurisdiction to hear cases relating to it.

These are the people running our country. They see no irony in using the Mafia, Hitler, Lenin, Stalin and Pol Pot as their role models; nor in

lumping Jesus in with that group.

Coming soon to a fiction section near you.

2009-06-26T05:58:00.005-10:00

The Republican wingnut welfare circle jerk continues: Dick Cheney is now writing a book for which Threshold Editions, the imprint headed by Mary Matalin, his close friend and adviser, will pay him TWO MILLION DOLLARS.

Karl Rove's book will also be published by Threshold.

Matalin will then herself or through her minions pimp the books on TV and in print. Some other RNC cash cow/stooge will preorder a shitwagon full of the book to gin up a phony NYT "bestseller" claim. The republican corporate welfare handout continues unabated.

Oh Lord, Won't You Buy me a Mercedes Benz?

2009-05-29T10:57:00.000-10:00

Alaska's First Cuckold Turd Palin disliked daughter Bristol's ex-fiance Levi Johnston so much that he offered to buy his daughter a car if she split from the moronic high school dropout. The 19-year-old putative father of "Bristol's" five-month-old son puked up the spew on his rocky relationship with the Wasilla hillbilly clan in a soon-to-be published interview in GQ -- and said that even though he would not be able to read it, he felt others should know that his would-be family values father-in-law was so desperate to send him (fudge) packing that he tried to bribe his irresponsible dick addict daughter with a car on multiple occasions. The unemployed self-proclaimed "fucking redneck" made a poor impression on the family of McCain candidacy killer Sarah Palin -- but slutty teen mom Bristol refused to stop fucking the brain dead sperm donor until their inevitable breakup in March.

The split caused infighting between the two trailer trash families -- and the Johnstons went public with their gripes over custody and child support. "I'd give anything for [Tripp], to really be his father," Levi said during a television interview in March. "[There are] a lot of changes when you're a party to a fraudulent scheme to conceal your girlfriend's mom's illegitimate baby. When you hold him for the first time, you know, I don't do a lot of things I used to anymore, like the meth I bought from my aunt."

Bristol's butt-nuggeted moose hunting ex went on a media blitz after the break up so he could "show that everyone in both familiies are complete and total fucknuckles." he said.

Laugh While you can, Monkey Boy

2009-05-19T13:38:00.001-10:00

Now that his republican enablers, protectors and beneficiaries no longer can illegitimately block or otherwise forestall letting the sun shine on governmental actions, Turdblossom is scheduled to be interviewed as part of a criminal investigation into the politically driven firing of U.S. attorneys during the Bush Administration. It's about time this devious slimy malevolent smarmy asshole was called to account for his crimes. I only hope the fucking democrats have enough spine, balls and other body parts to effectively turn on the lights to make the roaches scurry.

By Any Means Necessary

2009-04-28T07:33:00.001-10:00

Why did Condoleezza Rice, John D. Ashcroft and at least 10 other Bush officials review and approve in the summer of 2002 the use of torture on people kidnapped and held by the bush administration at secret prisons? To protect the homeland? To stop attacks on our troops overseas?

No.

The Bush administration applied relentless pressure on interrogators to use harsh methods on detainees to find nonexistent evidence of cooperation between al Qaida and the late Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's regime. A former senior U.S. intelligence official said that Cheney and former Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld demanded that the interrogators find evidence of al Qaida-Iraq collaboration. Interestingly, Condi Rice gave her approval to torture two weeks before (current Federal Judge) Jay Bybee completed his memo allowing the CIA to torture Abu Zubaydah, so the notion that the Bush torture regime was doing so pursuant to legal authorization is yet another lie.

From the horse's mouth:
There was no actionable intelligence gained from using enhanced interrogation techniques on Abu Zubaydah that wasn’t, or couldn’t have been, gained from regular tactics. In addition, I saw that using these alternative methods on other terrorists backfired on more than a few occasions — all of which are still classified. The short sightedness behind the use of these techniques ignored the unreliability of the methods, the nature of the threat, the mentality and modus operandi of the terrorists, and due process.

Many in government and the SCLM are resisting the notion of investigating the torture policies of the United States during the Bush years, arguing that no one knew any better. This “we all failed” stuff is just bullshit.

There are plenty of dirty fucking hippies who opposed the craziness every step of the way, Including the head of the FBI, Robert Mueller, who pulled his men out of the field and told his people that they would not participate in these tactics, showing that some in law enforcement still respect the law; and that doing so is a prerequisite for others to do so as well.

Oh, and this guy:
"The United States is committed to the world-wide elimination of torture and we are leading this fight by example. I call on all governments to join with the United States and the community of law-abiding nations in prohibiting, investigating, and prosecuting all acts of torture and in undertaking to prevent other cruel and unusual punishment. I call on all nations to speak out against torture in all its forms and to make ending torture an essential part of their diplomacy."

Robbie the Robot Blows the Oath Of Office

2009-01-23T09:20:00.003-10:00

It's one sentence, and he practiced all week, but he still got his lines wrong. This is the best that Republican jurisprudence has to offer? The Federalist Society must be proud.

Cornhole

2009-01-23T09:07:00.003-10:00

Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) placed a hold on Hillary Clinton's nomination to be Secretary of State. Cornyn, an asshole, trumps up a pile of right wing Clinton mythology bullshit to justify his conduct, but the essence is that he finds it more important to play political games than to permit the US to immediately regain some credibility in internation relations after years of Bush sending around feckless idiots like Conduhleezza Rice. Although the Senate eventually confirmed Clinton anyway, Cornhole's perfidious conduct shows him for the dick that he is. Cornhole continued his obstructionist ways by putting a hold on Eric Holder's nomination as Attorney General because the Corndog doesn't want the Bushies who tortured prisoners in our secret prisons or those who devised, implemented and approved those actions, up to and including the highest levels of the Bush assministration, to be held accountable for their conduct.

Remember When Lying was the Worst Thing on Earth?

2009-01-19T13:24:00.005-10:00

Gonzo, Kyle Sampson, Monica Goodling, Bradley Schlozman - has any Bushie appearing before Congress told the truth in any fashion?

To Bradley Schlozman, career lawyers in the Justice Department's civil rights and voting rights divisions were "mold spores," "commies" and "crazy libs."

Schlozman was the loyal Bushie who supervised them from from 2003 to 2006.

He hoped to get rid of the "Democrats" and "liberals" because they were "disloyal" and replace them with "real Americans" and "right-thinking Americans."Of course, that's illegal, and so, when busted for his illegal actions and called before Congress to explain himself, he lied about it. Under oath. In probably its last action as the legal wing of the Bush Crime Family™ the Bush Justice Department declined to prosecute him for it, maintaining their perfect record of zero Republicans held accountable for their crimes against this country.

I'm sure he meant it in the nicest possible way

2008-12-26T16:20:00.002-10:00

On Christmas Eve President George W. Bush rang up a North Carolina man who is assigned to the military prison camp at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Coast Guard Petty Officer 2nd Class Neil Ambrose, answered the call at the remote Navy base in southeast Cuba. The president stuck to a template of thanking Ambrose for his service, a White House tradition, and then broke from the script.

"How's the weather down there?" Bush asked.

"It's warm," Ambrose replied. "How would you like to join us?"

A few words can say a lot

2008-12-21T07:10:00.003-10:00

Yeah

that’s

right.

So

what?

Swear Words

2008-12-09T06:58:00.001-10:00

"So when I put my hand on the Bible, I will swear to not only uphold the laws of our land, I will swear to uphold the
honor

and

dignity

of the office to which I have been elected, so help me God."

Going to Yellowstone? Don't forget your bulletproof vest!

2008-12-08T11:36:00.006-10:00

It's common for administrations to issue a spate of regulations just before leaving office. Among the new rules Bush is cramming down the nation's throat before he leaves is a new rule that allowing loaded, concealed weapons in national parks.

Also, any nutjob fundamentalist "christian" healthcare worker who objects to any medical procedure or service can now legally refuse to perform it or take part in any way. Unlike older "provider conscience" laws, which deal largely with the behavior of physicians and nurses, the new rule would apply to any employee who has a hand in the healthcare delivery process, including menial tasks such as washing medical instruments. Such workers could legally object to performing their duties if the utensils were to be used in a way the worker deemed morally objectionable. The far-reaching proposed rule has the potential to interfere with every aspect of patient care, according to Anne Davis, M.D., an associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center in New York.

Bush's White House issued another executive order that bars workers at five federal departments from joining a union because they are engaged in intelligence gathering, investigations and other national security work. Colleen M. Kelley, president of the NTEU, said ATF workers were stripped of labor rights for no justifiable reason, including bargaining agreements reached in April. ATF employees "have had collective bargaining rights for more than 30 years and there is no indication that having those rights interfered with their mission before," Kelley said in a statement, vowing to work with President-elect Barack Obama's administration to overturn Bush's order.

In the next few weeks, the Bush administration is expected to relax environmental-protection rules on power plants near national parks, uranium mining near the Grand Canyon and more mountaintop-removal coal mining in Appalachia.

Heckuva job, Bushie!!

Ape CEO

2008-11-24T04:32:00.001-10:00

We still do not know how intelligence operatives, acting in the name of the United States, have interrogated suspected terrorists, and how they are interrogating them now. We do not know how many Americans’ phone calls and e-mails were scanned by the National Security Agency. We do not know—although we can guess—who ordered the firings of the U.S. attorneys who didn’t comply with the Bush administration’s political agenda, and we do not know who may have been wrongly prosecuted by those who did. There are large gaps in our understanding of the backstories to everything from pre-war intelligence in Iraq to the censoring of scientific opinion at the Environmental Protection Agency and the Department of the Interior.

Drinky Cro(nie)

2008-11-24T04:05:00.002-10:00

On Dec. 11, 2007, Bush spoke about his past alcohol addiction.

After briefing the media on a report on teen drug abuse, Bush told a teenage girl who had struggled with drug addiction that he too had kicked an addiction. "Your president made the same kind of choice," he told her.

"I had to quit drinking. … Addiction competes for your affection … You fall in love with alcohol." "I doubt I'd be standing here if I hadn't quit drinking whiskey, and beer and wine and all that."

"I had too much to drink one night, and the next day I didn't have any," Bush said. "The next day I decided to quit and I haven't had a drink since 1986."

Comically Primitive

2008-11-18T16:11:00.001-10:00

When the Bush administration took office, it decided to replace the Lotus Notes-based e-mail system used under the Clinton Administration with Microsoft Outlook and Exchange. The transition broke compatibility with the old archiving system, and the White House IT shop did not immediately have a new one to put in its place.

Instead, the Bush White House instituted a comically primitive system called "journaling," in which "a White House staffer or contractor would collect from a 'journal' e-mail folder in the Microsoft Exchange system copies of e-mails sent and received by White House employees." These would be manually named and saved as ".pst" files on White House servers.

One of the more vocal critics of the White House's e-mail-retention policies is Steven McDevitt, who was a senior official in the Bush White House IT shop from September 2002 until he left in disgust in October 2006. He points out what would be obvious to anyone with IT experience: the system wasn't especially reliable or tamper-proof.

Every Rose Has its Thorn

2008-11-18T02:16:00.000-10:00

Though its been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
But the scar, that scar remains

Coronation

2008-11-17T10:39:00.001-10:00

"Hurry up already with the speeches!! I'm crowning!"

AMF - Julie Myers

2008-11-13T10:10:00.000-10:00

The wife and daughter of political cronies, with no experience or qualifications, naturally the subject of a recess appointment by Bush to head up ICE, thought to reward the resmuglican party with her lame-ass effort at an october surprise by illegally divulging INS data about Obama's aunt. GONE 11/15/08.

AMF - Brit Hume tires of 'bitter' politics

2008-11-13T09:44:00.002-10:00

Fox "News" Shit Hume announced his retirement because "the whole general tone of politics in this country has turned so sour and so bitter and so partisan. It makes news, but after a while, it's dispiriting to cover it."

LOL. That's fucking rich, coming from the champion of Fox News Channel’s irony laden claim of being “Fair and Balanced.”
Fox adopted the fiction of liberal bias as its reason for existence. To counter the phony assertion of liberal bias, Fox overtly adopted a republican orientation to everything it did, becoming the propaganda wing of the right. The most damning evidnce of their emphasis on partisan propaganda at the expense of journalistic integrity was the 2003 PIPA study showing that 45 percent of Fox viewers believed that the United States had uncovered incontrovertible proof that Saddam Hussein and al-Qaeda had worked together; that we had found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq; and that a majority of peoples in other lands supported our war in Iraq.

Hume's post acting plans focus on golf and Christ, in that order. Since the suicide of his son, Sandy, he felt "rescued by God and by Christ. I have an intense desire to pursue that more ardently and have it be a bigger part of my life than it has been." Nice god you have there Shit - it takes your son's suicide to get religion.

Shit cites the most draining aspect of his "job" as the ugliness that has come to dominate political debate. Like Fox personalities calling Democrats and liberals unamerican and traitors, right?

I WANT YOU

2008-10-31T10:28:00.004-10:00

to get out and vote.

Little League

2008-10-31T10:17:00.003-10:00

Bush is in a rush to cram as much of his misguided incompetence down our throats as he can before he goes, but let's think about what will happen for Dear Leader next. What's in store for Duhbew in 2009? Many suggest he will be MLB commish. I don't think so. That still seems a little too far over his head. He might manage not to fuck up Little League, but I doubt it. He is the reverse Midas, after all.

I Love me

2008-10-31T10:15:00.000-10:00

and you love me.

What's that you say America?

2008-10-08T12:07:00.001-10:00

LA LA LA I CAN"T HEAR YOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't want to retire while I was alive anyway

2008-09-30T10:32:00.003-10:00

"I cannot carry on a campaign as though this dangerous situation had not occurred, or as though a solution were at hand, which it clearly is not.... With so much on the line, for America and the world, the debate that matters most right now is taking place in the United States Capitol -- and I intend to join it. It has become clear that no consensus has developed to support the Administration's proposal to meet the crisis. I do not believe that the plan on the table will pass as it currently stands, and we are running out of time. So I am returning to Washington....I suspended my campaign and came back to Washington because I thought that it was vital to do so. I didn't want to phone it in.¹ I'm proud that we were able to get this done, and I'll give the credit to everybody else."

Lindsey Graham told Fox News, "Thank God John [McCain] came back" to work on the bailout package.

FAIL.

House to Wall Street: Drop Dead!

With a firm rejection of Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, the House Republicans have told the financial markets that they'll have to solve their problems without $700 billion of taxpayer money. In a stunning vote on Monday, the House rejected a financial rescue package on a vote of 205 to 228. Republicans voted against the bill by a two-to-one ratio, and in the process rejected their own leadership. The outcome was a major setback to John McCain, who had backed the proposal and portrayed himself as a party leader who would win approval for the bailout. Chief McCain strategist Steve Schmidt said on Meet the Press, "What Senator McCain was able to do was to help bring all of the parties to the table, including the House Republicans, whose votes were needed to pass this." And this morning, McCain backer Mitt Romney told NBC that "this bill would not have been agreed to had it not been for John McCain. And if people want to get something done in Washington, they just watch John McCain."

After the Republican fail, the Obama campaign issued a statement responding to the economic crisis, calling for calm, encouraging lawmakers to keep working, and urging investors not to panic. The McCain campaign attacked Obama. It's a reminder that one can tell a lot about a person's character by how they respond to adversity.

*fn1: "He can effectively do what he needs to do by phone. He's calling members on both sides, talking to people in the administration, helping out as he can." -- McCain aide Mark Salter explaining why his boss could work on the rescue package over the weekend from his luxury condo in Arlington, Virginia and wasn't needed in person on Capitol Hill.

The Ring of Fire

2008-09-30T08:53:00.001-10:00

Love is a burning thing.

And it makes a fiery ring.

Bound by wild desire.

I fell into a ring of fire.

I fell into a burning ring of fire.
I went down, down, down and the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire. The ring of fire.

The taste of love is sweet

When hearts like ours meet.

I fell for you like a child.

Oh, but the fire went wild.

I fell into a burning ring of fire.
I went down, down, down and the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire.
The ring of fire.

Get off my Lawn

2008-09-28T09:18:00.001-10:00

Since disjointed nonsequiturs are the preferred mode of communication by republicants, here 's the take on debate one: Grandpa was condescending, bitter, angry, annoyed, closed, defensive, tense, rude, cranky, grumpy, crotchety, angry, mean, sneering, snarling, contemptuous, off-putting, snide, boorish, some sort of disturbed gremlin. Cluttered, jumpy, often muddled, awkward and edgy.

Cindy once again bears

2008-09-27T04:47:00.000-10:00

the brunt of a metamucil overdose.

Three Stooges

2008-09-27T04:37:00.002-10:00

Here's to the brain trust of the McCain campaign, whose immediate reaction to anything they haven't scripted is to withdraw, suspend, run away, avoid, defer, put off, and procrastinate. Steve Schmidt, Mark Salter and Charlie Black:

Storm hitting the Gulf Coast during the Republicant convention?
Timeout!!

A decade of Republican financial policies causing turmoil?
Whoa Nellie!

VP choice poops her pants in every single real (non-Fox News) interview?
Cut and run.

They are cockroaches scurrying away from the light. They know the more people see the vacuousness of their candidates, the less likely it is anyone other than the deadenders will vote for them.

Nerds go to the Prom

2008-09-19T16:46:00.002-10:00

Mrs. Palin: Oh, Sarah, you look so lovely.
Sarah Palin: Thanks, Mom.

Mrs. Palin: Now, before Todd gets here to take you to the Prom, I thought we'd take a moment to have a little heart-to-heart. You know, just mother to daughter.
Sarah Palin: Okee-dokee.

Mrs. Palin: Sarah, you've blossomed into quite a beauty. You know, sometimes when we go to the Shop-Rite, I see the checkers staring at you..
Sarah Palin: Oh, Mom, that's just your imagination!

Mrs. Palin: No, Sarah. You're not a little girl anymore, and you have to be aware of the effect you have on the male of the species. Now, take Todd, for instance. When that perfectly nice young man sets his eyes on you in that get-up, his hormones are gonna go berserk.
Sarah Palin: Oh, Mo-o-o-om, I don't like Todd in that way!

Mrs. Palin: Well, you don't have to like someone to love them, Sarah. Your father.. the late Mr. Palin.. [Together: God rest his soul..] ..your father and I never liked each other. But our love triumphed over our mutual dislike - I did my wifely duty, and you're the living proof of that!
Sarah Palin: Mom, you don't have to worry about me going all the way with Todd. I'm saving myself for my one true love - Marvin Hamlisch.

Animals

2008-09-16T11:45:00.002-10:00

Bus stop rat bag Ha, ha, charade you are

You fucked up old hag Ha, ha, charade you are

You radiate cold shafts of broken glass

You're nearly a good laugh

Almost worth a quick grin

You like the feel of steel

You're hot stuff with a hatpin

And good fun with a hand gun

You're nearly a laugh

You're nearly a laugh

But you're really a cry

Take the Red Pill

2008-09-14T04:10:00.000-10:00

America needs leadership that is based in the real world, not one that is based on phony images created by media manipulation and self deception.

We have had eight years of goverment populated by people that "create their own reality," as Karl Rove once famously bragged.

Republican reality includes a war in Iraq based on WMD that did not exist; a handful of troops that would be greeted as liberators, who would win a war in six months that would be paid for by the Iraqis. Their reality also included Bush not spying on American citizens and claiming not to torture people.

The disastrous results of living in Republican fantasyland is apparent to most people; as is the need for a strong dose of reality.

However, Palin McCain propose to give us more of the same - they live in a nonexistent world where Palin sold a state jet on ebay for a profit; where you can fire a librarian for not letting you ban books; where the government is used as a tool to punsh your enemies and reward your friends; and where you suck up Federal cash with corrupt lobbyists like a truckload of Bounty and then claim to refuse earmarks.

What will be interesting is whether Palin McCain can even deal with the real world.

It has been proven beyond doubt that Palin sought out, got and kept federal earmarks for her bridge to nowhere; and built a road to nowhere with it. Nevertheless, Palin McCain continued to claim over and over again that they did not do those things. Can they admit the truth and have a debate in the real world; or will we get more lies?

Palin McCain is on the road to nowhere - America can't go down that road.

Behind the Wheel

2008-09-07T05:30:00.004-10:00

My little girl     drive anywhere
Do what you want     I don't care

Tonight     I'm in the hands of fate
I hand myself     over on a plate

Oh little girl        there are times when I feel
I'd rather not be the one behind the wheel

Come     Pull my strings
Watch me move     I do anything

Sweet little girl     I prefer you behind the wheel
And me the passenger

Drive     I'm yours to keep
Do what you want     I'm going cheap

You're
behind the wheel, tonight

Abstinence Makes the Hard Grow Fonder

2008-09-01T10:18:00.008-10:00

VP candidate Sarah Palin espouses the Republican party line on education, science and social issues: Lies, ignorance, stupidity & incompetence.
From the 2006 Gubernatorial Candidate Questionnaire :
Will you support the right of parents to opt out their children from curricula, books, classes, or surveys, which parents consider privacy-invading or offensive to their religion or conscience?
SP: Yes.

Parents should have the ultimate control over what their children are taught.

Will you support efforts to raise or lower the mandatory age of education? Why or why not?
SP: No, again,
parents know better than government what is best for their children.

Will you support funding for abstinence-until-marriage education instead of for explicit sex-education programs, school-based clinics, and the distribution of contraceptives in schools?
SP: Yes, the explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support.

In relationship to families, what are
your top three priorities if elected governor?
1. Creating an atmosphere where parents feel welcome to choose the venues of education for their children.
2. Preserving the definition of “marriage” as defined in our constitution.

So she fails
as a parent in teaching her own children about the values of a "constitutionally protected family," sex & abstinence. She'll be a success as
vice president
how?

One Time

2008-09-01T04:59:00.004-10:00

When self proclaimed born again christian and all around moral guy George W Bush was caught remarking on tape that a reporter was a "major leage asshole," Dick Cheney became known by his immediate response: "Big time."

"Just close your eyes, reach into the hat, and pull out a name"
Similarly, I hope McCain will now become known as "One Time," that being how often he has to meet someone before deciding they are ready to be a

feeble 72 year old
heartbeat away from the Presidency.

Grandpa left no doubt what was on his mind in subsequent campaign appearances with Ms. Palin.

Cheerleader-in-Chief

2008-08-31T03:38:00.005-10:00

Time for an Olympics recap.

Bush, looking to spend time with another repressive, paranoid, government based on lies, heads to Beijing for the 2008 summer games. "Hey lookit me! I'm the new Pokemon,

Logotard!!

Once there, he had to sit through basketball practice with coach Val Ackerman, who made the mistake of being

old and clothed. BOR-ing!

Just like in the August 2001 presidential daily briefing and every Cabinet meeting thereafter, Bush begins to daydream. This one apparently features JimmyJeff GannonGuckert, so it's

boneriffic!

Ever the drunk fratboy concerned about performance anxiety, W really

breaks a sweat around attractive women. He nevertheless manages to make a nice example of a

dick and balls

Mr. Resolute keeps at it, and eventually shows Misty
what he's got.

Due to his inability to stay on his feet and his otherwise erratic behavior, rumors abounded that W fell off the wagon again and was roaming around drunk. He was not drunk - just ripped to the tits on painkillers from that

unreported Beijing bike accident clearly displayed on his elbows.

All's well that ends well, as the

scars on the ol' elbows healed up nicely.
and the

Vicodin buzz was just an added bonus.

Prosecute This

2008-07-21T13:49:00.002-10:00

Let's recap. Rove and Bush decide to purge US attorneys who did not pursue bogus voter intimidation cases and replace professional, competent prosecutors with their opposites: Loyal Bushies.

Pliable, flaccid, empty suit Attorney General Alberto Gonzales thinks "its a swell idea, Mister Pretzeldent" and happily goes along with it.

Gonzo, called before Congress to testify under oath on the personnel matters in his department, forgets his own name, shits his pants on national TV and embarrasses the entire legal profession, which takes some doing.

Congress subpoenaes Rove to explain the sordid, dishonest Republican scheme. Rove runs away crying to his Mommy. Mommy tells him that he doesn't have to tell those mean Demoncrats anything.

Fifth from the Bottom

2008-07-21T13:43:00.000-10:00

is worried about problems at

"The Iraq-Pakistan Border."

This is what happens when they let him out without his handlers.

Czech Please

2008-07-20T02:55:00.000-10:00

If a pinhead like George W. Bush is lashing you for being stupid, then you know you are deep in dumbassland. Bush criticised John McCain for not knowing that Czechoslovakia has not existed as a country since 1985. Bush also said it deserved to be a campaign issue: "John McCain says something about the ‘ambassador to Czechoslovakia.’ Well, I know there is no Czechoslovakia, but yet it didn’t make the nightly national news.”

Of course that was in 2000, when Bush beat McCain like a rented mule in the Republican primary.

In the eight years since that monumental ass whipping, McCain still has not figured out that Czechoslovakia does not exist. McCain has made this same mistake repeatedly during the 2008 campaign. About three months ago, McCain vowed to “work closely with Czechoslovakia” on missile defense. Last fall, during a Republican debate, McCain said: “The first thing I would do is make sure that we have a missile defense system in place in Czechoslovakia and Poland, and I don’t care what his objections are to it.” Most recently, at a press conference in Phoenix, McCain referenced Czechoslovakia again.

“I was concerned about a couple of steps that the Russian government took in the last several days. One was reducing the energy supplies to Czechoslovakia."

The irony is that McCain has actually been to the Czech Republic and Slovakia since they became independent countries, and he’s met with their leaders. When you are a senile old man who can't recover from being beaten up by George W. Bush, then you don't deserve to be in the running for President of the United States.

Fox in a Box

2008-07-19T03:59:00.003-10:00

So Tony Snow is dead. How does one eulogize a professional liar? Well, he was good at his job, which amounted to reciting Republican propaganda to an audience of brain dead mouth breathers: Fox "News" viewers and the White House Press corps.

Like Bush, he accomplished his mission, which was to put a ribbon on a cowpie and convince people it was a birthday present.

For me, the indelible image that remains from his tenure as an Assministration flack is his taxpayer funded field trip to the hellish playground he and his ilk dreamed up, created, and sustained. As the chopper descended, and the camera captured their codpiece moment, I'm sure the unmistakeable aroma of Republican courage filled the cabin, and for just for a moment Snow and Bartlett caught a whiff of reality.

All the Dead Are Fungible

2008-07-15T01:10:00.003-10:00

They aren't lying when they say they have no recall of how it is that the Bush White House and its military arm the Pentagon managed to completely fabricate and misrepresent the events surrounding two high profile people whose stories were used to catapult the propaganda in favor of Bush's war, and then stall, discourage, hinder the families from getting the truth about what happened to Pat "Worm Dirt" Tillman
and Jessica Lynch
in Bush's war. For recovering loyal Bushie Scott McClellan, propagandist Dan Bartlett, "christian ethicist" Michael Gerson, and all-around asshole Donald Rumsfeld, the dead and wounded from the Republican vanity war are meaningless apart from the public relations value the Bush Administration can extract from their lives. Once they have exploited these people for any PR value, they are then meaningless cannon fodder in the Republican war on truth, not worthy of the memory of any Republican.

"Hey Kids! Sorry About All the Buttfucking!"

2008-07-13T06:12:00.000-10:00

and the lying, and the decades long cover up and, while I'm at it, sorry for the institutionalized abuse of Australia's indigenous people, too. Listen abos, look on the bright side. If we didn't treat you as subhuman, we probably would have buttfucked you guys, too.

Driving While Gay

2008-07-13T06:09:00.001-10:00

Bush's most reliable lapdog in Europe these days used to be Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi. Bush and Berlusconi share a love for authoritarian rule. I suspect they also share some teenie weenie deeply rooted psychological problem that lends itself to their desire for a strong, strong man to be in control.

Anyway, that close relationship was before the inept and incompentent Bush White House published the 2008 G8 media briefing book, in which Bush said Berlusconi is "regarded by many as a political dilettante who gained his high office only through use of his considerable influence on the national media..." The White House also said Berlusconi was "one of the most controversial leaders in the history of a country known for governmental corruption and vice." As one who ought to know, Bush said Berlusconi is "hated by many." Foremost among them is probably this poor bastard who was mistreated by the Berlusconi government: Danilo Giuffrida was told to repeat his driving test or have his licence suspended because of his "sexual identity disturbance, " i.e., he's gay. Mr. Giuffrida passed his test for the second time but his license was renewed for just one year rather than the usual 10 years because of his homosexuality. You know, if he was some 72 year old half senile, diaper wearing geezer, I would get the restriction, but this guy is in his 20s. This bigoted stunt cost Italian taxpayers more than $100,000.

Gramm Crackers

2008-07-12T07:51:00.003-10:00

According to John McCain, Phil Gramm is the smartest economist and political strategist he knows. When John McCain needed to shore up support from skeptical economic conservatives during the presidential primaries, he turned to his old friend, Phil Gramm. Gramm is a McCain confidant whose post-Senate lobbying activities conflict with McCain's promise to steer clear of lobbyists in his presidential campaign.

Gramm is responsible for one of McCain's many flip-flops: A longtime fiscal conservative who voted against President Bush's tax cuts, under Gramm's influence McCake became a supply-sider who wants to make the Bush tax cuts permanent.

Gramm went off message in his latest efforts on behalf of McCake by complaining that American worried about the awful Republican economy are in a "mental recession" and whiners. Leaving aside the irony of a multimilionaire brain dead RNC lobbyist accusing others of being in a mental recession, here's a memo to these two douchebags: most of us don't have huge piles of cash extorted from corporations like Gramm or a mega rich trophy wife sugar momma like McCake to fall back on when times are indisputably hard.

Big Brother is watching

2008-07-07T10:09:00.001-10:00

...and there's not a fucking thing you can do about it, thanks to the Democrats in Congress, who want to cover up all of the various illegal spying done by Bush over the last 7 years. What is the point of electing Democrats if we are going to continue to get republican policies?

Daddy's Girl

2008-07-07T09:10:00.001-10:00

The daughters of the rich and privileged get to promote ghost written books and go on book tours with Mommy. The daughters of the rich and privileged get to flaunt the law. The daughters of the rich and privileged get to have weddings to other rich and privileged kids in front of oddly pagan altars. PFC LaVena Johnson was someone's daughter. She got none of those things. While the daughters of the rich and privileged don't need to worry about being raped and killed by American soldiers; and then have the United States Army lie about it, stonewall the investigation, and go so far as to glue gloves on her hands to cover it up, the daughters of the rest of us do.

Yo Boy

2008-07-07T09:04:00.003-10:00

U.S. President George W. Bush on Monday kept up his tradition of ~~informal relations~~ being a complete asshole with fellow world leaders by summoning Prime Minister Stephen Harper with a brusque "Yo Harper!" Television footage of a G8 lunch with African leaders showed Bush talking to Nigerian President Umaru Yar'Adua and then inappropriately bellowing out "Yo Harper! The president of Nigeria." This latest immature and unsophisticated conduct by the Boy King from Connecticut follows up on his asinine conduct at the G8 summit in 2006, where Bush landed ally Tony Blair in some trouble by calling out "Yo Blair!" Critics said the greeting showed ~~what they described as the unequal nature of Bush's relationship with Blair, then the British prime minister~~ that Bush is not afraid of publicly treating his lapdogs badly. At the same summit, Bush shocked German chancellor Angela Merkel by briefly massaging her back as he walked behind her chair. Bush has not groped anyone at the 2008 summit, but plenty of time remains for his juvenile booze-fueled sociopathic antics to emerge.

Somalia, Sudan....

2008-07-05T08:41:00.001-10:00

"What's the difference? I don't really care anyway, neither do the people who will vote for me, and I can forget both of those shitholes exist once I'm elected."

It's the Spice of Life

2008-07-05T07:42:00.002-10:00

Old Man McCain, tired of Duhbew's bald head fetish, travels to Mexico with the Creamsicle (a/k/a "The Wallet") for a little variety groping.

The Potemkin Pretzeldent

2008-07-05T01:20:00.003-10:00

For the Chimp,

everywhere is now Oakland,

as defined by Gertrude Stein.

One hopes the flames of Hell burn especially hot today

2008-07-04T12:36:00.000-10:00

Jesse Helms is dead. Helms saw himself as a redneck protecting simple American values from the onslaught of permissiveness, foreign influence and moral relativism. Simple minded, yes; pig headed, yes; but at least not as much of a hypocrite as his orange haired asshole buddy Strom Thurmond. A fan of segregation, Helms learned early in his political career to demonize his opponents and to appeal to the base fears of ignorant people; who responded by regularly electing him to represent their interests.

Songs of the Free

2008-06-15T05:55:00.005-10:00

The Boumedine court restored the fundamental right of people kidnapped, imprisoned without charges, and tortured by the Bush administration to a proceeding before a neutral fact-finder that determines if there is any basis for them to be so held. This is what is known as a habeas corpus proceeding. The concept that no government has the right to imprison you without cause has been a fundamental part of Anglo-American jurisprudence for hundreds of years, until Bush and the Republican congress acting at his behest abolished it. The Boumedine court did not order the release of any detainees. It simply said that they have a process available to them to force Bush to demonstrate why it was OK for Bush to kidnap, imprison without charges for years at a time, and torture them. Republican polemicist and bedwetter Knee Know Scalia published a Kool-aid tinged dissent that is divorced from reality; and which naturally gained the immediate approval of the other Republican bedwetter justices Alito, Roberts and Thomas; and their ilk that infest this country like fleas. (A special "thank you" here to Chuck Schumer and Diane Feinstein, without whom Roberts and Alito would not be on the bench.) Nino points to 30 men released by the awesomely competent Bush administration (without the awful burden of a habeas process) who allegedly then became involved in the resistance against Bush's occupation of Iraq, including suicide bombing. Maybe this had something to do with it:

American troops had dragged Mohammed Ahktiar out of his Afghanistan home in 2003 and held him in Guantanamo for three years. The Islamic radicals in Guantanamo's Camp Four who hissed "infidel" and spat at Akhtiar, however, knew something his captors didn't: The U.S. government had the wrong guy: He was not an enemy of the Bush administration, he was their friend, according to a senior Afghan intelligence officer. Akhtiar was imprisoned at Guantanamo on the basis of false information that local anti-government insurgents fed to U.S. troops. An eight-month McClatchy investigation in 11 countries on three continents has found that Akhtiar was one of dozens of men — and, according to several officials, perhaps hundreds — whom the U.S. has wrongfully imprisoned in Afghanistan, Cuba and elsewhere on the basis of flimsy or fabricated evidence, old personal scores or bounty payments.

With "friends" like these, who needs enemies? If Ahktiar and others like him weren't America hating terrorists before, who could blame them for being one now?

The Gang of Four want to deny these people the right to any process that would justify their indefinite detention and torture. If the Bush administration wants you in jail, that's good enough for them.

Is that a ten-gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?

2008-06-13T07:39:00.002-10:00

The chimp hauls ass over to Europe ... for what? With less than eight months to go before Bush leaves office, European leaders are expected to offer him little if anything to narrow the gap with Washington on issues like climate change, a resurgent Russia and a defiant Iran.

Mindful that Bush is even more unpopular across much of Europe than he is at home, the White House itself has no lofty hopes for Bush's trip, which is expected to draw large protests in countries where anti-Bush sentiment runs highest.

Although the stench of his policy will linger, they are lucky to be rid of him now - would that we were so blessed.

Worst Kept Secrets of the Bush White House

2008-05-31T03:01:00.004-10:00

According to his former press secretary, George W. Bush is a disengaged, delusional, dishonest douchebag.

Conduh likes the tongue.

Jeff Gannon on Scott McClellan: "I can say without fear of contradiction, that I knew Scott better than any other White House correspondent or Washington reporter."

Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition

2008-05-26T03:05:00.002-10:00

Sarah Palin is Alaska's Republican Governor who, before she was elected as GILF, irritated state GOP leaders by blowing (the whistle on) the party chairman('s violations of state ethics laws). Once elected, however, she has fallen into line as a good Republican: When challenged about any policy you have advanced or actions you have taken, lie. Palin misrepresented her state's polar bear findings regarding their endangered status. Palin has consistently opposed any new federal protections for polar bears; claiming that a "comprehensive review" by state wildlife officials found no reason to support an endangered-species listing. The governor invoked the state's scientific work in a cover letter to the state's official polar bear comments, and in an opinion piece published in the New York Times. But the review, which was released to a University of Alaska scientist who had filed a public records request seeking the state's polar bear decision-making, shows that the state Department of Fish and Game head and two other staff biologists agreed with the conclusions of nine polar bear studies to justify a threatened-species listing for the bears. No Republican expects that their lies will be uncovered. They know no one will care once they are.

Also, anyone who gives their kids horrifyingly bad NASCAR themed names (Bristol, Track) should be sterilized.

Just $1300 FOR A LAPEL PIN!!?!?

2008-05-25T07:10:00.005-10:00

How could they not sell out the Convention Center? The president was to appear with McCain at the Phoenix Convention Center at a Republican National Committee Victory Reception. Apart from the fact that the title reflects that irony is in fact dead, President Bush is scaling back next week’s fundraising swings for Sen. John McCain (R-Bad Combover) at the request of the campaign, which wants the events closed to the press. A private reception at the Phoenix Convention Center event was going to cost $25,000, while a larger reception was $1,000, or $2,300 with a lapel pin. “Sources familiar with the situation said the Bush-McCain event was not selling enough tickets to fill the Convention Center space, and that there were concerns about more anti-war protesters showing up outside the venue than attending the fundraiser inside.” In case you have some extra cash and will be in UT any time soon, the Park City dinner is open to those who raise or contribute $70,100 per couple, or $30,800 per person.

a billion here ... a billion there...

2008-05-25T06:47:00.003-10:00

and pretty soon you're talking about real money. Except that it is already real to me, and to all the other citizens of this country that pay taxes. It is bad enough that we are funding this absurd and pointless exercise, but to have pallets full of cash disappearing into the rapacious maw of avaricious thieves hiding behind the military or the flag makes me want to puke. Of $8 billion paid to U.S. and Iraqi contractors, nearly every transaction failed to comply with federal laws or regulations aimed at preventing fraud, in some cases lacking even basic invoices explaining how the money was spent. Thanks to Robert Gates and Donald Rumsfeld, the two SecDefs in charge of this plundering of the American treasury.

HOW YA LIKE ME NOW?

2008-05-25T06:40:00.005-10:00

"All I can tell you is I'm very proud to have Pastor Hagee's support." McCain actively sought Hagee's
support to establish his bona fides with Protestant evangelicals.

"John McCain is a man of principle," Hagee, a televangelist and the pastor of Cornerstone Church, told reporters. "He does not stand boldly on both sides of any issue."

Republican presidential candidate John McCain on Thursday rejected the endorsement of Texas preacher John Hagee after the pastor was discovered to have made "crazy" comments.

Need more crazy?
Rod Parsley is John McCain’s self-described spiritual guide and the leader of World Harvest Church, a 12,000 member megachurch in Columbus, Ohio, who believes "that America was founded, in part, with the intention of seeing false religion destroyed." Who is Rod Parsley? A pastor whose $600 million ministry cloaks its finances in secrecy; a man who sells "covenant swords" and "prayer cloths" that he claims will
bring freedom from financial problems as well as any physical or emotional ailments;" a man who calls himself a high priest who only has to blow a whistle to have "every demon is coming off your shoulders, out of your mind, out of your finances;" and a man who wants to "restore Godly presence in government and culture and...will tear down the church-state wall." In 2001, Parsley told the Columbus Dispatch "Americans must be Christocrats, citizens of both their Country and the Kingdom of God. And that is not a democracy, that is a theocracy."

Pressed on Wood

2008-05-18T04:51:00.010-10:00

It's Sunday - the Sabbath, the Lord's Day; the day of rest. Let's talk religion, oh I don't know ... like that good ol' Christianity practiced at the Prestonwood Baptist Church, in Plano Texas. Home of the Jesus Dome, or Six Flags Over Jesus. If you follow George Bush, you'll get to Prestonwood. As all good Republicans do, Prestonwood returns the favor, and leads people to
Bush: But most importantly, I want to thank the grassroots activists. I want to thank you for what you're fixing to do, which is man those phones, put up the signs, and turn out a huge vote. We're counting on you. Finally, it's good to see my friend Jack Graham, who is with us, the pastor of Prestonwood Baptist Church.

Prestonwood: Only Republicans are welcome, but they don't play favorites - they like both far right Christians and ultraconservative fundamentalist christians. Chuck Norris goes there. Just like Jesus said to do, Prestonwood puts its money where its mouth is.

You know what else they like to do at Republican Prestonwood? Drive 200 miles with a webcam and a fistful of condoms to fuck little girls.

What More Do You Want?

2008-05-16T13:04:00.003-10:00

I gave up GOLF!!! Do you have any idea of the sacrifices I've made? Now I have to sit around with Pickles, listening to her ramble on drunkenly about her old dead boyfriends; or Condi, talking about her pianist friends, or Dick, with his political theories ... I mean really, who gives a flying fuck? I'd much rather be out on the course beating a ball.

You Can Trust the Military to Tell You the Truth

2008-05-15T12:20:00.005-10:00

Pentagon general counsel William Haynes: "We can't have acquittals. We've got to have convictions. We can't hold these men for five years and then have acquittals." This is the same William Haynes President Bush nominated In September 2003 to a key judicial seat on the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals. Haynes argued on behalf of Bush that the bombing of an island in the Marianas, an important haven for many rare species of birds, would actually be beneficial for bird watchers. Haynes contended that the bombing would disperse the birds to other islands so many more people would be able to see the rare species. Haynes is known for authoring of one of the worst torture memos of the bunch. It claimed that "In light of the President's complete authority over the conduct of war, without a clear statement otherwise, criminal statutes are not read as infringing on the President's ultimate authority in these areas." In other words, when we're at war -- which is whenever the president says we're at war -- the president is not bound by law.

In September 28, 2006, Deputy Secretary of Defense Gordon England discusses the trials of alleged terrorists detained by the US and states that "there could be strategic political value in getting some of these cases going before the elections."

The judge presiding over the Salim Hamdan case disqualified Brig. Gen. Thomas Hartmann from any further involvement in the case because his aims were too political, and his cheerleading for the prosecution too obvious to allow him to remain involved. Hartmann is the Legal Advisor to the Convening Authority. That office oversees both prosecutors and defense attorneys. But as the judge's ruling makes clear, Hartmann wasn't anything close to impartial. Even beyond the judge's conclusion, the ruling is a remarkable document because it involves a blow-by-blow account of Hartmann's politicization of the process.

Adios, Motherfucker

2008-05-15T11:41:00.001-10:00

The top defender in Supreme Court cases of the Bush administration's policies toward legal rights of Gitmo prisoners is resigning. Solicitor General Paul Clement argued that the detainees are not allowed to prove their innocence, backing the Bush administration's effort to abolish habeas corpus rights for all terrorism suspects .

in Vito, falsitas

2008-05-08T14:55:00.006-10:00

Janus talked out of both sides of his mouth, but it's not like he had much choice. Republicans, on the other hand, hate making choices - probably because they are so bad at it. Republican Congressman Vito Fosselli impeached Willy KKKlinton for getting a blowjob and lying about it. Hey Vito! What did you tell your wife and three kids about all the time you spent away from home with retired Air Force Lieutenant Laura Fay? Were you boning her when you voted for the Federal Marriage Amendment in both 2004 and 2006? Probably, since you and she were in Europe together on July 27, 2003, for a dinner in honor of then-speaker Dennis Hastert.

I hear you voted to use the power of the Federal government to ban gay adoptions in DC. And that makes sense: the damage caused to a child by being adopted by two people of the same gender vastly exceeds the damage caused to a three year old by having a father who can only drop by now and again, when his real family isn't paying attention, or the damage to your three children by your wife growing up in a home where there are secrets no one can talk about.

Pride of Provo

2008-05-08T05:46:00.005-10:00

In addition to magic underwear and baptizing the dead, Kyle Sampson believes in bringing the force of the United States Government to bear against democrats. In conjunction with Harriet Miers, George Bush and Alberto Gonzales, Sampson fired United States Attorneys who, consistent with their duty as an officer of the court and the US Government, declined to bring phony voter fraud cases against democrats. It was Kyle who lined up the eight US District Attorneys and fired them because of their failure to indict enough Democrats fast enough for the 2006 election. Bush appointees Gonzales, Paul McNulty and William Moschella then each lied to Congress about their conduct in the matter. Unlike the rest of the bush crime family, however, Sampson apparently has some residual sense of responsibility and accountability left, as he resigned once his ethically challenged conduct became known. A true star in the firmament of the Bush administration.

Turd Bergner

2008-05-08T04:33:00.004-10:00

Dick installed his talking points hero Kevin Bergner in a position to ramp up the rhetoric so that Cheney can have his Iran war on top of all of his other glorious compensations for having better things to do back in the 60s when his time to serve in the military was due. Bergner, the chief of public affairs in Iraq, invited members of the press to the latest in a series of Iran bashing dog-and-pony shows in Baghdad's Green Zone. Bergner and his staff let reporters see two roadside bombs disguised as rocks that, Bergner said were "likely" of Iranian provenance." Likely of Iranian provenance? Likely? What kind of half-seated accusation was that for a U.S. Army general to level at Iran while Congress debates declaring war on them? Perhaps more importantly: Why do media outlets like the New York Times continue to play echo chamberlain for this kind of irresponsible inflammatory rhetoric?

A lie makes it twice around the world

2008-05-08T04:23:00.004-10:00

Michael Gerson, formerly the president's "Spiritual" scribe, wrote flowery language, created images of thoughtfulness, ethics, evenhandedness, respect for others, and helped foster many other imaginary attributes for republicans like George Bush. (Actually, the primary job of Bush's speechwriter is accommodating his retarded speaking style and religious convictions). Gerson, George W. Bush's chief scribe from 2000 and subsequent policy adviser, shares Bush's devout "Christian" faith and his view that the role of God in human affairs should be publically reaffirmed. He is no longer an official republican employee, but he still toils in advancement of their agenda. Gerson says "Scrubbing public discourse of religious ideas would remove one of the main sources of social justice in our history." Once again the hypocrisy of these phony christians knows no bounds. How dare a Bush republican talk about justice, let alone social justice? The corruption in the Justice department continues to unravel. He has obviously not paid a lot of attention to the illegitimate and illegal conduct that he has dressed up for his moronic figurehead.

Most recently, he issued a pile of steaming poo in the form of an op-ed in which he contends that republicans are not at war with science, a lie and a poorly told one at that. All he talks about are sex education and stem cells, two issues that aren't even close to being the core issues in the Republican war on science. The core issues are global warming denialism; creationism and intelligent design; the Gingrich-era shutdown of OTA; the promotion of phony cost-benefit analysis; and politically motivated lying about things like Plan B, breast cancer links to abortion, and condoms and STDs.

My Name is ... My Name is ... My Name is ...Slim Shady?

2008-05-08T04:18:00.003-10:00

The American people correctly view a John McCain victory in 2008 as a third term for George W. Bush, given Grandpa's support for the half assedly conceived and incompetently executed Bush foreign and domestic agenda. On almost every issue, McAint's positions are identical to Bush: He reversed course to support making Bush's fiscally disastrous tax cuts that he twice previously opposed. Like Bush, Grandpa opposes the expansion of the SCHIP program for children's health care, and supported Bush when he called for the wildly unpopular privatization of Social Security. He wants to overturn Roe v. Wade; and will add more Supreme Court justices like John Roberts and Samuel Alito. He and Bush are in lockstep when its comes to Iran and Iraq, so much so that although Bush wants to stay in Iraq for 50 years, Grandpa says, "Make it a hundred."

Pope and Dope

2008-05-07T09:13:00.006-10:00

Ratsi expresses his delight at the collection of delicious young boys offered by Bush for his delectation upon his arrival in America.

All of the Crimes Remain Unsolved

2008-05-04T04:03:00.010-10:00

"[We] are contractors. That is how things are done here now. We contractors, we work for the government, yes. except when we don't."

"They are working for someone in the government, perhaps, but not on government business. But they don't necessarily know that. They wouldn't want to know that, would they? Sometimes, these contractors find it most convenient to know nothing at all."

Straight - No chaser

2008-05-04T03:17:00.008-10:00

"I think the victory will be rapid, within about three weeks." John McCain, January 28, 2003.

"It's clear that the end is very much in sight...It won't be long. It, it'll be a fairly short period of time." John McCain, April 9, 2003.

"Well, then why was there a banner that said mission accomplished on the aircraft carrier?"
John McCain, responding to assertion by Fox News' Neil Cavuto that "many argue the conflict isn't over," June 11, 2003.

Maverdick's record as a straight talker is laughable. Two faced, three faced - he's got more positions than the kama sutra. When will his core constituency (the media) follow up on his ever evolving position on any issue of significance?

We're on a mission from God ... to torture people

2008-05-02T04:22:00.002-10:00

The latest in a long line of Bush stooges and prevaricators, John P. Elwood, disclosed to Congress this week a previously unpublicized method to cloak illegal and immoral Republican activities by claiming that the assministration can ignore or modify existing executive orders without disclosing the new interpretation. The assministration's wide stance on Bush's power over executive orders let it stall disclosure of the assministrations torture policies and secretly operate programs that are at odds with public executive orders that to all appearance remain in force. Elwood believes Republicans can create a smokescreen of falsehoods behind whose phony regulations lawless programs can operate in secret.

Adios Motherfucker

2008-05-02T01:05:00.007-10:00

Republican criminal Lurita Doan resigns from the GSA (or is forced out, depending on whom you believe) to spend more time with her family.

Mission Accomplished Day

2008-05-02T00:59:00.005-10:00

Five years ago Commander Codpiece put on a freakshow by exploiting our troops to declare his Iraq mission accomplished. As the death and destruction continues unabated five years on, he has rightfully taken fire for the presumptuous and arrogant banner displayed in the background of every publicity photo of this despicable stunt.

As he did once the torture that he and his cabal authorized from the top down saw the light of day, he and his moronic mouthpieces initially blamed the troops for his deeds on that day.

Bush Announces Great Progress in Ongoing War with Eastasia

2008-04-27T09:07:00.007-10:00

The enemy hit us, they hit us because of what we love. (applause) See, we love freedom. ( fervent applause)They hate freedom. The enemy came to our shore. They declared war on the United States of America that day, and war is what they got. We've been on the offensive against this enemy -- (standing ovation). We're chasing them down one at a time to bring them to justice. We will use every resource at our disposal to protect America. (applause and adulation) And, once again, this nation is proud to lead the armies of liberation. Fifty million people are now free, thanks to the United States of America and our coalition. (Applause at gunpoint.)

Conduh tells Sadr to Bring it On

2008-04-27T09:01:00.002-10:00

Condi tried her hand at the Bush administration's version of diplomacy during her visit to Iraq - which had been kept secret for security reasons - while surrounded by a massive armed guard. The secretary mocked anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr as a coward on Sunday, hours after the radical leader threatened to declare war unless U.S. and Iraqi forces end a military crackdown on his followers.

Spying Gives The RNC a Million Dollar Boner

2008-04-27T08:59:00.008-10:00

Republican Leader John Boner participated in one of Newt Gingrich's many unethical and dishonest activities back in 1996, just hours before then-House Speaker Gingrich admitted wrongdoing in a House ethics subcommittee probe. In lieu of hearings that would cast the light of day on dishonest republican chicanery, Congress agreed to accept Gingrich’s mea culpa on the condition that he not launch a counterattack against the committee. On a December morning in Florida, however, John and Alice Martin overheard a conference call involving Boner, Gingrich, (dick) Dick Armey and other Republican leaders orchestrating a GOP’s attack on the charges. They recorded the call on a scanner and gave it to the head of the ethics committee, who disclosed the republican dishonesty to the country. In response, Boner sued his congressional colleague for disclosing the dishonest and unethical conduct recorded by the Florida couple; and was recently awarded 1 million dollars in attorneys fees.

He then dressed up this outcome in sanctimony and hypocrisy. Boner, who along with all of the other Congressional Republicans over the last seven years has aided and abetted the Bush administration in its ongoing criminal and lawless behavior, said the following: "Members of Congress have a responsibility not only to obey the law and congressional rules, but also to defend the integrity of those laws and rules when they are violated. I remained committed to this case ... to uphold the belief that no one ... is above the law." Right. So Boner has no problem with the Bush assministration illegally tapping millions of calls under the pretense that FISA is a problem for them; but Boner gets his panties in a wad over his call being tapped.

Boner's newfound dedication to the rule of law and its applicability to the highest of the high brings to mind Churchill's comment that "we have already determined what you are. Now we are just haggling over the price." Since we now know what it takes to get Boner up (in arms) over illegal spying, all we have to do is buy off a few more cheap whores and we can get the rule of law restored to this country.

Blasphemous Rumors

2008-04-17T11:15:00.004-10:00

It is absurd that Alberto Gonzales delegated his power to hire and fire people to a tinhorn despot/religious fanatic like Monica Goodling. Once we are within the within the realm of the absurd, however, it is eminently foreseeable that she would then choose to exercise her power to enforce Christianist Republican "values," so it can't really be a surprise that she would choose to fire a lesbian for no reason other than she was a lesbian. Even given all of the above it is still hard to fathom that she would tinker with the career and livelihood of a person possessed of outstanding employment performance reviews based on no more than rumor.

Hands On Management

2008-04-16T06:40:00.002-10:00

The conviction this week of Deborah Palfrey ended the "DC Madam" case, which once held great promise for multiple instances of Republican humiliation by yet another public demonstration that the alleged party of moral rectitude is composed of frauds and whoremongers. Unfortunately, the case did not live up to the hype, as Diaper Dave Vitter and the other prolific republican sex consumers identified as witnesses did not appear and testify. In the way of all things Republican, only a select few got to fall on the grenade for the rest of the cowardly patrons of prostitution. Here is a tribute to those anonymous heroes of the Republican party.

2003: President George W. Bush announces his nomination of Randall Tobias to be the Coordinator for International HIV/AIDS Assistance in the Roosevelt Room Wednesday, July 2, 2003. A newly-created position, the coordinator will have the rank of Ambassador and oversee all U.S. international HIV/AIDS assistance.

2008: Randall L. Tobias, who resigned as a deputy secretary of state after acknowledging to ABC News that he used Palfrey's service for "massages," also did not testify.

Republican Captive Customer Appreciation Day

2008-04-15T08:39:00.008-10:00

It's April 15th. I held on to my cash with both hands as long as I could, but I'm writing a check to the United States Government today. In honor of that event, let's look at how Unca Dick and his clueless sidekick Squinty McBugfuck will spend my money:

Military Spending

United States $ 583,283,000,000*+**
France $ 74,690,470,000
United Kingdom $ 68,911,000,000
China $ 59,000,000,000
Germany $ 44,712,300,000
Japan $ 41,750,000,000
Russia $ 40,000,000,000
Italy $ 32,600,000,000
Saudi Arabia $ 31,050,000,000
South Korea $ 27,400,000,000
India $ 26,500,000,000
Brazil $ 25,396,731,055
Australia $ 20,727,710,000
Canada $ 17,150,002,540
Spain $ 15,792,207,000
Turkey $ 15,166,000,000
Netherlands $ 12,000,000,000
Poland $ 10,838,000,000
Communist China $ 10,500,000,000
Israel $ 9,444,000,000

*Does not include the cost of Bush's wars, all of which are being done off budget and off the books and with no accountability whatsoever. If, as projected, Bush spends three trillion dollars of your and my tax dollars on his off-the-books vanity wars, take some time to see what that money might have accomplished if spent on legitimate purposes.

+Does not include the BILLION dollars paid to Erik Prince and Blackwater by the State Department and the Pentagon.

**May not include the $6,145,783,263 paid to Dick Cheney's asshole tax dodger buddies, rapist enablers and garden variety criminals at KBR.

And yes, the US total is more than all the rest combined.

BS

2008-04-15T04:15:00.004-10:00

Expelled: See it if you are a fan of the myth of christian persecution, stupidity,dishonesty, theft, misrepresentation, hyperbole, propaganda, Nixon's Ghost, and the myth of scientific relevance in a country run by Republicans.

dim bulb

2008-04-14T11:23:00.004-10:00

In his ABC interview, Mr. Hadley referred at least a half-dozen times to Nepal when he seemed clearly to be speaking of Tibet. A White House spokesman later confirmed that Mr. Hadley had misspoken.
Maybe it's because they have so many half-assed stories and after the fact justifications floating around in their heads for their own invasion and occupation that they can't be bothered to keep straight what the other fascist states are doing. Given the performance of the state department specifically and the Bush assministration generally, it's equally probable that it's just rank incompetence. With all of the other outrages going on, the notion that it is possible for the National Security Advisor to the Pretzeldent of the United States to not know the difference between Nepal and Tibet seems like small potatoes. Nevertheless, it matters because these people pay no attention to reality or to other people or countries. Writ small, it's all just trivia to people like Hadley. Writ large, this attitude is disaster on a nationwide scale. Like all of the other Republicans, he'll magically get smart just in time to write his "Told you so" book he'll put out just after he leaves his government office about how he knew what was going on but no one would listen.

Adios, Motherfucker

2008-04-10T12:35:00.005-10:00

The latest Bush appointee to resign in disgrace is Housing and Urban Development Secretary Alphonso Jackson. He can take his taxpayer sponsored "I Love Me" mural with him. Asshole.

It's Perfectly Clear

2008-04-10T12:27:00.004-10:00

Bush's attorney general Mukasey says that since there aren't any domestic military operations being carried out today, UC Berkeley law professor and Bush's constitutional hatchetman John Yoo's plan to suspend the Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution is not presently "operative." What a relief.

Two Bit, or, "Don't you know who I am?"

2008-04-05T03:07:00.003-10:00

It's only the Green Zone, after all.

Not that I make this a great habit — but I went to the gym because I just couldn’t sleep and everything else. Well, sure enough, the guard wouldn’t let me in. Said I didn’t have the correct credentials. It’s 5:00 in the morning. I haven’t had sleep. I was not very happy with this two-bit security guard. So you know, I said, “I want to see your supervisor.” Thirty minutes later, the supervisor wasn’t happy with me, they escort me back to my room.

Ted Haggard, Lindsey Graham, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Jeff Gannon, Mitch McConnell:

2008-04-05T02:07:00.007-10:00

Republican Boner wants to pick up seats.

Adios, Motherfucker

2008-03-20T09:15:00.006-10:00

Lawyers are popular targets for scorn. They are the face of a byzantine system seemingly defined by foibles and follies that no one wants to be part of and in which everyone resents having to pay for the privilege of being involved. Lawyers are the voice for and public persona of the least popular. Lawyers do dumb and sleazy things. Nevertheless, even the worst housekeeper takes out the trash once in a while.

"When a member of the Bar is convicted of an offense involving moral turpitude, disbarment is mandatory. This court has held that obstruction of justice and perjury are crimes of moral turpitude per se."

Irving Lewis "Scooter" Libby is disbarred.

McAint Anointed as Least Insane Republican

2008-03-11T06:26:00.008-10:00

The Republicans-only side of the Goat Rodeo is over. John McAint (any different from Bush) is the choice of the Party after Jesus's candidate drops out.
So we have a torturelovin warmongerin lobbyfister Maverdick as the face of the Republican party. In the same way that he is a straight talkin party buckin maverdick who actually lies his ass off and kowtows to the Bush party line, he will be an agent of change from the awful taint of the corrupt and incompetent Bush assministration by bringing Karl Rove and Ken Mehlman on board and is actively seeking the endorsement of fundamentalist Xtian whacko John Hagee. Smell the difference?

Nobody in the Bush Assministration Knows What They are Doing, Except for Me

2008-03-11T05:32:00.009-10:00

So the Dumbest Fucking Guy on the Planet™ wrote a book.

Following on the heels of Scottie McClellan's disclosure that yes, Bush and his cabinet repeatedly lied about outing a CIA agent who was monitoring Iran, and just as there was no one who knew what was going on at Alberto Gonzales' Justice Department, Feith says the Defense Department, CIA, and all of the other branches of the Bush Assministration were also completely clueless, therefore supporting Feith's conclusion that he was so right and everyone else is to blame for all of the grotesque and eminently predictable fuck ups arising from the American invasion, destruction and armed occupation of Iraq. Although the book isn't out yet, drafts are public and some excerpts are set forth below.

Keeping with the spirit of Feith's book in which responsibility is avoided like the plague, one of the quotes below is from noted accountability dodger Homer Simpson. See if you can guess which one:

The whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Everything looks bad if you remember it.

It takes two to lie: One to lie and one to listen.

It was like that when I got here.

I don't have to be careful. I got a gun.

Native Son

2008-03-09T17:36:00.021-10:00

Native son

What have you done;

where have you been;

who do you know?

Nothing.

Nowhere.

No one.

Mainly devil-may-care.

Nothing.

Nowhere.

No one. I'm still picking things from the air.

Dizzy boy

Is there still joy in being free and in between?

In being free and in between?

Nothing, no one, nowhere.
Nothing, no one, nowhere.
Nothing, no one, nowhere.
Nothing, no one, nowhere.

I'm gonna la-la-la-la-la-la my way through life.

I'm gonna la-la-la-la-la-la my way through life.

I'm gonna la-la-la-la-la-la my way through this life.

No where.

The Bill of Rights, as amended

2008-03-09T02:41:00.009-10:00

Not that Republicans have any respect for the rule of law, but I thought I would offer a couple of Constitutional amendments to at least put a gloss of legality over their contempt for American principles:
Twenty-ninth Amendment (The Mukasey Amendment): No Republican shall be held accountable in a court of law or by any other legal process for crimes done in advancement of Republican hegemony.

Twenty-eighth Amendment: The right of Republicans to torture people shall not be infringed by legislative enactment.

Idiocracy

2008-03-09T02:24:00.003-10:00

Duhbew famously looked in Vladimir Putin's eye's and pronounced his soul worthy. Since then, Putin has waged an unforgiving campaign to clamp down on democracy and extend his personal control over the government and large swaths of the economy. He has suppressed the independent news media, nationalized important industries, smothered the political opposition and readily deployed the security services to carry out the Kremlin’s wishes. What do you see when you look in his eyes now, douchebag?

We Crush Democracy

2008-03-09T02:20:00.004-10:00

The people who love all the killing and destruction in Iraq would have you believe (in the absence of WMD) that the promotion of democracy is our number one priority. Of course, that's only so long as the Republicans like the outcome of the election. After failing to anticipate Hamas’s victory over Fatah in the 2006 Palestinian election, the White House cooked up a covert and self-defeating Middle East debacle: part Iran-contra, part Bay of Pigs. President Bush, Condoleezza Rice, and pardoned criminal Elliott Abrams backed an armed force under Fatah strongman Muhammad Dahlan over the duly elected winners of the Palestinian elections, touching off a bloody civil war in Gaza and leaving Hamas stronger than ever.

NeoCon Heroes - The Loyal Bushie

2008-02-06T05:15:00.000-10:00

Hard to imagine that a Bush republican could be a close friend of Marion Barry, but Bush's HUD secretary Alphonso Jackson pulls off that interesting perfecta. Jackson exemplified the loyal Bushie long before Gonzo and his Liberty and Regent U grads jumped on that bandwagon. Here's how Alpho goes to the dogs: "The president is elected, I was selected. You wouldn’t be getting the contract unless I was sitting here. If you have a problem with the president, don’t tell the secretary. Why should I reward someone who doesn’t like the president, so they can use funds to try to campaign against the president? Logic says they don’t get the contract. That’s the way I believe.”

In 2006, Jackson elbowed assistant secretary for public and Indian housing Director Orlando Cabrera aside and installed his deputy as the point man for a huge contract with the Housing Authority of New Orleans. The $127 million contract eventually went to a team that included an Atlanta company, Columbia Residential, which owes Jackson between $250,000 and $500,000 'for past services,' according to the HUD secretary's public financial disclosure reports. Cabrera was questioned about Jackson's role in steering federal money to his cronies. Cabrera and Jackson are not on speaking terms. HUD insiders say that the secretary was angry with Cabrera for speaking to investigators and considers him "a snitch."

pick of destiny

2008-02-02T06:13:00.000-10:00

"I tire of the the need for ever increasing levels of lawlessness to cover up my many crimes and those of the Vice President, my cabinet and most of the officials I have appointed over the last seven years. I am surrendering to the inevitable. I resign my position as President of the United States effective immediately, and will travel on Air Force One to an undisclosed location *coughcoughDubaicough* to live out the remainder of my life in luxury and isolation from the petty travails of responsibility and accountability. Thank you and goodbye."

That's Top Down Leadership

2008-01-28T05:10:00.000-10:00

935 Lies, Not One Impeachment.
President Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney, Secretary of State Colin L. Powell, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, Condoleezza Rice, then Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz and Official White House Liar Scott McClellan stated unequivocally that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction (or was trying to produce or obtain them), links to Al Qaeda, or both. These statements were an orchestrated campaign that effectively galvanized public opinion and led the nation to war under decidedly false pretenses. The officials with the most opportunities to make speeches, grant media interviews, and otherwise frame the public debate made the most false statements.
So now you know: Bush Republicans lead by example.

Update on the Campaign to be the Next President

2008-01-28T05:05:00.000-10:00

Huckabee campaigns on the premise that the Constitution should be amended so it's in (his) God's standards; runs neck and neck with McCain in South Carolina.

McCain wins in SoCar buoyed by not having to deal with smears from the Bush campaign about illegitimate brown babies. Senator Straight Talk says that Sam Brownback would play an advisory role in helping decide who he would nominate for the Supreme Court. As models of who he would select, McCain pointed to Justices Samuel Alito and Antonin Scalia. Yay! More activist statist judicial legislators when it comes to republican interests, but strict constructionists when it comes to individual rights, minorities and women.

Mitt Romney, whose favorite novel is the scientologist screed "Battlefield Earth," and who believes that the angel Moron buried gold plates in a hill outside Palmyra, NY sometime after 421 AD. Nice to have someone who can read in the White House, even if it is science fiction.

Rudy who?

Say "Farewell" to Fred as he rides off into the sunset in his leased little red truck.