Monday, January 7, 2008


I like to boink 15 year olds

Roger Clemens, named as a drug abuser and cheater in in the Mitchell report, was on teevee recently to deny the charges. Interestingly, he admits that he took shots in the ass from his (very) personal trainer, but asserts it was only lidocaine, a local anesthetic, and "Vitamin B-12."

Jose Canseco, who has already proven his credibility when it comes steroid use, analyzed the Rawket's B-12 issue several years ago: "It was so open, the trainers would jokingly call the steroid injections 'B-12 shots,' and soon the players had picked up on that little code name, too," Canseco wrote in Juiced, his steroid tell-all published in 2005. "For example, I've never seen Roger Clemens do steroids, and he never told me that he did. But we've talked about what steroids could do for you, in which combinations, and I've heard him use the phrase 'B-12 shot' with respect to others."

Also troublesome are the medical doctors who say that Clemens would not take it (lidocaine, of course)in the ass unless he was was limited by hip or other pain in his buttocks. Shoulder or elbow pain is never treated in that way. If what he was injected with was truly lidocaine, his butt cheek would be numb, and that's it. So, is there a good reason why the Rawket wants his butt numb?

You may know that The Rocket is a republican, which might lead you to the incorrect conclusion that he is lying when he denies having the roids in his ass, since "Republican" and "lying" are essentially synonyms these days. However, it is my opinion that Roger is not a dishonest, congenitially-incapable-of-truth-telling George Bush Republican, but is a Larry "Wide Stance" Craig Republican. Not that I know from first hand experience, but I hear that a jolly good
Rogering might leave one in need of a little sweet relief in the ol' bullpen.
Pitching, not catching, of course.

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