Friday, September 19, 2008

Nerds go to the Prom

Mrs. Palin: Oh, Sarah, you look so lovely.
Sarah Palin: Thanks, Mom.
first douche

Mrs. Palin: Now, before Todd gets here to take you to the Prom, I thought we'd take a moment to have a little heart-to-heart. You know, just mother to daughter.
Sarah Palin: Okee-dokee.

Mrs. Palin: Sarah, you've blossomed into quite a beauty. You know, sometimes when we go to the Shop-Rite, I see the checkers staring at you..
Sarah Palin: Oh, Mom, that's just your imagination!
ass of spades

Mrs. Palin: No, Sarah. You're not a little girl anymore, and you have to be aware of the effect you have on the male of the species. Now, take Todd, for instance. When that perfectly nice young man sets his eyes on you in that get-up, his hormones are gonna go berserk.
Sarah Palin: Oh, Mo-o-o-om, I don't like Todd in that way!
Mr. helper around the Alaska Governor's Mansion

Mrs. Palin: Well, you don't have to like someone to love them, Sarah. Your father.. the late Mr. Palin.. [Together: God rest his soul..] ..your father and I never liked each other. But our love triumphed over our mutual dislike - I did my wifely duty, and you're the living proof of that!
Sarah Palin: Mom, you don't have to worry about me going all the way with Todd. I'm saving myself for my one true love - Marvin Hamlisch.
Hamlisch would be a step up

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