Oh Lord, Won't You Buy me a Mercedes Benz?

Alaska's First Cuckold Turd Palin disliked daughter Bristol's ex-fiance Levi Johnston so much that he offered to buy his daughter a car if she split from the moronic high school dropout. The 19-year-old putative father of "Bristol's" five-month-old son puked up the spew on his rocky relationship with the Wasilla hillbilly clan in a soon-to-be published interview in GQ -- and said that even though he would not be able to read it, he felt others should know that his would-be family values father-in-law was so desperate to send him (fudge) packing that he tried to bribe his irresponsible dick addict daughter with a car on multiple occasions. The unemployed self-proclaimed "fucking redneck" made a poor impression on the family of McCain candidacy killer Sarah Palin -- but slutty teen mom Bristol refused to stop fucking the brain dead sperm donor until their inevitable breakup in March.

The split caused infighting between the two trailer trash families -- and the Johnstons went public with their gripes over custody and child support. "I'd give anything for [Tripp], to really be his father," Levi said during a television interview in March. "[There are] a lot of changes when you're a party to a fraudulent scheme to conceal your girlfriend's mom's illegitimate baby. When you hold him for the first time, you know, I don't do a lot of things I used to anymore, like the meth I bought from my aunt."

Bristol's butt-nuggeted moose hunting ex went on a media blitz after the break up so he could "show that everyone in both familiies are complete and total fucknuckles." he said.